“If you meet Kamlididi, give her this honey, Bujji. She drinks water mixed with lemon juice and honey first thing in the morning, right? She is such a thin person”, said Sanni placing a honey bottle in the bag on the cot. Budri, who was sitting near the fire burning next to the cot and chatting with her friend Seedho, nodded her head without looking at her mother. “Oh, I forgot”, muttered Sanni to herself and she went into the house and came back saying “Here are some marinated and dried bitter gourd pieces. Give them to Badrudada. Heard he has some disease for which I believe these are good”. She added the leaf wrapped pieces in the bag. Budri once again just nodded her head.
The two friends were sitting next to the fire in the verandah in front of the house. Even though there was a cot there, they ignored it and sat next to the fire in order to escape the biting cold of the month of January. It was past 8am but, it was still not warm. Maad is the coldest area of Dandakaranya, and this village is one of the colder ones of Maad.
While Budri and Seedho were sitting near the fire in the verandah, another five to six young women and men were sitting next to the fire in the courtyard. There were three militia members in that group. It seemed as though words and laughter were competing with heat and smoke in rising from the fire. Those words and laughter brought a glow to the courtyard that was still enveloped in semi-darkness.
In contrast to that lighthearted scene, the atmosphere around Budri and Seedho was somewhat serious. Seedho was listening intently to what Budri was saying. In reality, it was rare for Budri to be serious. She was always grinning from ear to ear, always active and chatting nineteen to the dozen. She was short, stout, of brown complexion and attractive. Seedho was two years elder to Budri. They were great friends however. The two of them used to work together in the cultural squad until three years ago. After that Budri joined the squad whereas Seedho got married two years ago. They had not met since Budri joined the squad. Seedho had left the village after marriage. While it was not far, Budri worked in the press department. So, she did not have occasion to visit all the villages. This was the second time Budri was visiting her village in these three years. She had stayed for two days and was to leave that day. The previous evening Seedho had come from her in-laws place. The two friends wanted to spend at least a day with each other. But, Budri had to leave for an appointment. In the short time that they had together, Budri wanted to update her friend about all the important issues of the movement. After her marriage, Seedho was working as a regular member of the women’s organization in her in-laws’ village. Budri was urging her to work with more vigour.
Even though Seedho was listening to her friend attentively, Sanni’s actions were attracting her attention too. As soon as Sanni had brought the bag out and placed it on the cot, Budri took the bag from the cot saying “Oh, What all did you pack?” Sanni had packed different food items in containers made of leaves and had then stitched leaves on top of those to secure the contents. So, it was not possible to see what had been packed. But, you could easily smell dried fish and dried meat near the bag. Budri took out a packet, smelt it and said “These are dried meat pieces”. She took out the containers one after the other, smelt them and said “This is dried fish”, “These are dried mango pieces”, “dried Tendu fruit pieces” and so on. There were some tubers at the bottom of the bag. Budri returned the bag to the cot commenting on its heaviness and continued talking to Seedho.
All those food items were for Budri’s entire squad. Sanni kept adding other items such as honey, dried bitter gourd pieces etc based on her knowledge of the tastes, likes and diseases of the squad members. “Maybe nobody packs so many things so lovingly even for their child going to her in-laws’ place for the first time” thought Seedho.
Sanni felt she had packed everything and tied up the bag’s mouth. Then, she remembered that she had packed for all the squad but nothing for her daughter. She muttered “Oh, good, I remembered” and went into the house. Since Budri had already sent a message that she would be coming on a particular date, her mother had bought a lungi, towel and kerchief in the market held that week. When she opened the trunk where these were kept, she remembered what she had bought for her daughter the first time she had come home after joining the squad. She smiled sheepishly as she remembered that.
Budri had long thick hair from her childhood. So she had bought two pairs of clips, rubber bands of various colours, aromatic hair oil, a hand mirror and a large-toothed comb. The moment she saw Budri, she realised that none of the things she bought for her would be useful for her daughter. Budri had cut her hair short like a man’s crop. Her mother’s heart bled at the sight. She did not comment on it immediately but a little while later could not resist commenting “How did you have the heart to cut your beautiful hair!”
“After realising I do not have any use for it, I wondered how I put up with it for so long!” replied Budri. While Budri did not say it in so few words and explained more gently, she used the word patriarchy two or three times in her explanation. However, Sanni could not get reconciled. She remembered the thick, black and long hair Budri used to have and felt very bad. For nearly half a day, she felt her daughter’s face looked bare and bald. But, as the day wore on she became accustomed to the new look, and started feeling there was nothing out of ordinary about it. It was also the first time she saw her daughter in the guerilla uniform. By evening she told herself “That hair cut suits the uniform”. By the next day, she felt her daughter looked really attractive in her new haircut.
After they had their lunch, she laughingly took out the stuff she had bought from the trunk. “See, I bought all these for you. But, you don’t need them now! Still, you can take this aromatic oil. Anyway, you oil your hair, right?” she said. Budri took it disinterestedly and said “We do not use aromatic oil but only plain coconut oil” and returned the oil bottle to the other items. She looked at the other items too and put them away. Her mother could see no interest at all in her daughter’s face when she took those items into her hand. “What’s new about that? From her childhood, she was more interested in taking part in the activities of the children’s organization, and later when she became a little older she would roam the villages participating in meetings, programmes and propaganda. She was never interested in her personal appearance. I thought she would change when she came of age but it was never so”, thought Sanni.
So this time, Sanni had chosen only those items that would be really useful to her daughter. She had bought a dark green lungi, sky blue towel and honey coloured large kerchief. She brought them and gave them to Budri saying “They will not fit in the bag. So, add them to your kit”.
In the meantime, Budri’s sister Maali came from the kitchen hut next to the house and said “Food is ready. Come and eat”. Since Sanni was busy packing, Maali had taken over the cooking duty. Maali was 16 yrs old and was working in the militia. As per the cooking duty in the militia, another member Badru also had joined her in the cooking. For a while, everyone had been smelling the mouth-watering smells of dried beef being cooked. So, as soon as the call came, everyone came readily with their plates.
Maali and Badru brought the rice and beef pots to the verandahwhere Budri was sitting and put them next to the fire. “Get your plates as you too will be leaving soon” said Sanni to Maali and Badru. So, they also brought their plates and joined the others. Budri’s youngest sister, 12 year old Phulo also got her plate. “Let us eat together” said Budri and gave a plate to Seedho. As Sanni got ready to serve everyone, Budri’s father also came to serve the food. He washed his hands and feet and started serving the rice while Sanni served the beef curry.
While some of the people returned to the fire in the courtyard, a few went and sat on the cot where the sun’s rays were just beginning to shine. However, Budri, Seedho and Phulo ate near the fire in the verandah itself. After everyone had eaten their fill, Maali and the other two militia members packed up the remaining food in a box and went to wash the cooking vessels in a stream nearby.
Budri and Seedho washed their plates and gave them to Phulo. Then, they came back to the fire to continue their discussion. Budri’s parents were already sitting there. The fire had burned low by then but it was still giving off heat. Budri’s parents’ hearts were heavy as she would be leaving soon and they did not know when they will see her again. Budri was also feeling the same. All of them were searching for words to speak at the parting.
“You should eat well, my daughter” said Sanni. “I always eat well, Amma”, said Budri. “When Sunithadidi took class for us, she told us that some of the women comrades do not eat pulses much. Some do not even eat the groundnut and jaggery mixture. If they do not eat, how will they become strong? If there is firing, it will become a problem. You must eat everything that is given”, said Sanni. She started discussing the points she had heard and discussed in the women’s organization activists’ meeting that had happened recently. “You should eat anything that is given. You should not object saying you won’t eat this or won’t eat that. If you do not eat properly, how will you get strength? If you do not have strength, how will you participate in the war?” said Budri’s father.
Seedho remembered her brother who was studying in the hostel. She thought “I do not think my parents gave so many instructions even when he was going to the hostel”. She got up and moved towards the courtyard to give private time to the three of them.
There was silence for a while. Budri thought that they were done with whatever they had to say. She thought it was her turn to tell them what was in her mind. Sanni cleared her throat and seemed to hesitate to say what was in her mind. Budri looked at her mother. But, Sanni was looking at the fire. Then, she added a log to the fire and said “My dear, do not get married soon. There is no hurry to get married” and drew a deep breath. Budri smiled when she heard this. Her father took it up saying “I agree. There is no hurry to be married. You should grow in the Party and come up in its cadre”. “Look at Sukumati and Sanbatti. They have become commanders but have not yet married”, said Sanni. At this, Budri could no longer hold herself and laughed out loud. Everyone there turned and looked at them at the sound. “Hey, why are you laughing like that? Is it because I was nagging you to get married when you were at home? I agree I did that then. But, now, I have understood. Will people always be the same?” said Sanni in a woebegone voice. Budri stopped laughing seeing her mother’s face. The others returned to their conversations.
“Of course, people will change! If people do not change, how will our battle go forward? I am very happy with what you have said! I know you have changed a lot. Sunithadidi tells me about you every time we meet. Father has always been working in various organizations. I heard fromdidi that you have been participating actively in women’s organization’s activities. So, how will I think you will be the same as earlier?”, said Budri and waited for her mother’s reaction. “Since we do not have sons, I thought if you marry Munna, the two of you would stay with us. But, you went ahead with your heart’s desire. I was sad then but now I do not feel sad at all” said her mother. Her father sat silently. He had never pressured his daughter to get married. So, he had nothing to explain. “Even though you were sad when I refused to marry then, I am glad that at least now, you have understood me”, said Budri. She chatted with them for some more time and then got up.
“Shall we go comrades”, she said. At that, everyone got up and got ready. Maali and two male militia members got ready to accompany Budri to her appointment. Budri took her kit and hung a bag with a blanket on her left shoulder. She hung a single barrel rifle to her right shoulder. Maali hoisted up the bag her mother had packed for Budri on to her head. She also hung the bag containing her stuff to her shoulder. The militia members too picked up their bags containing their stuff. One of them had a barmar and the other had a bow and arrows. Budri’s parents and everyone else stood in a line. All the four who were leaving, greeted all those in the line with a laal salaam and proceeded forward.
The four of them walked rapidly towards the forest. It was getting to be ten in the morning. Since they were mostly walking in the shade of the trees, they did not feel the heat of the sun. Since walking there was climbing up and down the hills, they stopped feeling cold. Budri was in high spirits. She was remembering her parents’ last words again and again. She wondered “What will Kamdidi say when she hears this”. To understand why her parents’ words gave her so much happiness, we need to go back three and a half years and see what happened then.
*********
“Your maternal uncle came yesterday” said Sanni sitting down on the floor next to the cot on which her daughter was sitting after having taken a bath. She handed over a porridge bowl to Budri. It was about 4pm. Budri had returned after a week of having participated in a cultural training camp in the next village. The training had been intense and went on day and night without rest. On top of it, she had walked back to the village and was extremely tired. So, Budri showed no interest in her mother’s news. “He has gone with your father to the gorga tree”. Sanni had only one elder brother. He came often to their village on a visit. While her mother narrated the gossip about her uncle’s household, Budri finished eating her porridge and lay back on the cot. Sanni decided to come to the point before her husband and brother returned.
“Your uncle said it will be good to conduct the marriage this year”.
“Whose marriage” asked Budri though she knew her mother’s intent.
“Who else? Do not talk as though you do not know. Marriage between you and Munna. This was decided long ago”, said Sanni.
“I told you I do not wish to get married now”.
“How can you say that? It has been arranged long ago”.
“Arranged? Who did you ask before arranging? I was certainly not asked”, said Budri.
“We drank liquor* as a pact of your marriage when you were an infant. How could we have asked you my dear?” said Sanni.
“You drank to finalise my marriage when I was an infant unaware of this world. Now that I am aware, I am refusing the marriage” said Budri.
Normally, Budri was a very serene person and mature beyond her age. But, because she was very tired, she spoke impatiently.
“Why will you not agree? What is wrong with Munna? He is a nice person. Your uncle and aunt also love you”, said Sanni in a coaxing tone observing the impatience of her daughter. Budri sat up and looking straight into her mother’s eyes and trying to control her impatience said “He may be nice. But, I am not ready to get married. I told you I am going to join the squad. You keep nagging me about marriage”. Sanni knew that scolding a child these days will actually worsen the situation. Further, she had always thought of her daughter Budri as a kindhearted person. She didn’t want to harden her daughter’s heart by scolding her. She wanted to change her heart. “I gave my word to my brother that I will get you married to his son. Now, if you go and join the squad, how can I face my brother?” she asked. “I also gave my word in the meetings the other day that I will join the squad. I will enrol in the next PLGA (People’s Liberation Guerilla Army) meet, i.e., in another month. I was going to tell you and Nayana about it either today or tomorrow”, said Budri in a soft but resolute tone.
Sanni did not speak for some time. It was not new for her daughter to say she will enrol in the squad. But, she had never taken it seriously. Sanni thought that when Budri came of age she will accept the situation that she was engaged in her infancy and will honour that. Now, she saw her hope fading. She had two problems in front of her now. One was her daughter rejecting the marriage arranged for her and the other was her joining the squad. She was not in favour of either. Sanni was also a very serene person. She had never scolded or beat up her children. She just sat there thinking about the problems.
After sometime, she said softly “You are the eldest of the house. We do not have sons. We hoped you will be our support like a son. Every time you said you will join the squad, I have been telling you this. Will you not listen to me, my dear?”
“Mother, I have also been telling you since my youth that I will join the squad. If you want support, there are two more sisters after me for that”, said Budri. “True, we have two more daughters. But, we arranged your marriage with Munna. Since I do not have sons your uncle agreed to his son staying with us after marriage. Will anyone send the eldest son of their household like that? Since it was my brother, he agreed out of love for me. Tomorrow, those who marry your sisters may not agree to move into our household, right?”
“Mother, for now, both you and Nayana are able to work hard and support your selves. When you are unable to support yourselves, then we will see what to do. Why get tense about it from now?” said Budri in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. “In another two years, Maali will become an adult. We will send her into the squad” said Sanni looking hopefully at her daughter.
Sanni had great regard for the Party. She had never objected to her daughter participating in children’s organizations or the cultural squad. But, she was unable to approve her daughter joining the squad. It was not just the objection any mother may feel when asked to be separated from her child. She was not able to reconcile herself to the fact that her daughter was refusing to honour the marriage arranged long ago. It was not just hurt that a long established tradition was being set aside by her daughter. It was also the pain that her word given to her brother had no weight and could not be fulfilled. “Will my brother come to my home after this? Can I go to my maternal home ever after this?” were some of the thoughts in Sanni’s mind. She had not felt the lack of sons after her brother had agreed to give his son in marriage to her daughter and send him to be a part of their household.
“When Maali gets older, she will decide for herself whether she will join the squad or not. Why will I not join even if she wants to join?” said Budri.
“I am not saying that you should stop all of party’s work. I heard that Munna is also working with the organization. Both of you can continue to work with different organizations after your marriage too. Is not your father doing so? I also work as much as I can, right? If you feel that at least one person from our family should be in the squad, I am saying let us send your sister”, said Sanni. She knew that most families were proud to have at least one member in the squad.
“Since I was very young, I was sure I wanted to join the squad. Maali will decide for herself. We are not the ones to decide her future. You explain to uncle” said Budri getting up from the cot and walking away.
Sanni kept staring at her daughter as she walked away. Similarly, a month later, when her daughter joined the squad, she stared after her as she walked away from the house. She was pained more by the fact that she could not honour the pledge to her brother than by the separation from her daughter. However, no one knew the fact that Munna was also not in favour of the marriage. At least Budri had made it clear to her parents that she was not willing to get married. Munna had never even informed his parents.
Just as Budri got recruited into the squad in the PLGA meeting in her village, Munna also got recruited into a squad in the meeting held in their village. Sanni, who had lost hopes that she will be able to honour her promise, came to know of this fact ten days later. Her hopes were revived by this fact. When she met her daughter one year later, she expressed her hope to her daughter: “Since Munna is also working in the squad, at least now, you can get married to him, right?”
Budri laughed loudly at this and said “You nagged me to get married when I was at home. Will you not leave it even now?”
“Whether you are at home or in the squad, you will eventually get married, is it not? You refused to get married then because you wanted to join the squad. Since, now, he is also in the squad, what is the objection?” Sanni asked.
Budri said “I do not have any wish to get married now”.
“Why delay the marriage that was settled long ago? Alright. Tell me when you will get married. We will talk to Munna. We do not know if he will be willing to wait or not…”, said Sanni.
Budri did not let her mother finish whatever she was saying. She interrupted her and said “As of now, I have no thought of marriage. When I do decide to get married, I may marry Munna or somebody else. I do not know as of now. So, you need not talk to him”.
“Why not Munna? What is wrong with him? Is he disabled? Or is he not of sound mind? He is also in the squad”, said Sanni.
“You are insisting that we should get married because you had arranged this marriage in our infancy. But, did you find out if either of us is interested in this marriage? You are nagging me that I should go ahead with this marriage but even Munna does not seem interested in this marriage. I have met him two or three times recently. If he were interested, he would have told me, right? Or, even if not to me, he would have told the Party”, said Budri.
“Are you saying you won’t marry thinking he may not be interested? If so, we will talk to him….”.Budri interrupted her mother once again and said “Even if he is interested, I am not interested. It is wrong to arrange marriages without knowing the opinion of the children. It is sacrificing the lives of both the people. Munna is a good person. I am not against him. However, if I agree to this marriage, I will be justifying a very bad tradition. Therefore, not only now, but I will never marry Munna”. Sanni could only look helplessly at her daughter.
***************
(The inspiration for this story, Comrade PaddamBudri (Anitha) was killed in the raid by the police on the village Durveda in the Maad region of Dandakaranya on November 7, 2017).
Notes
* In adivasi culture, (in most of the tribes) the girl’s and the boy’s parents drink liquor together as a pledge to perform their marriage. Once they drink palm liquor they never go back on their decision.
dada – elder brother, but this term is also used by people to address male comrades
didi – elder sister, but this term is also used by people to address female comrades
amma – mother
lungi – cloth wrapped around the waist, the two ends of which are knotted together
laal salaam – red salute
Gorga– A tree (Fish Tail Palm) from which toddy is collected and fermented nayana– father
Barmar- Country made gun which is used routinely for hunting by Adivasis
Party – CPI Maoist party
(Translation of ‘ViplavaTaram’. [Initially published in Arunatara, September 2018] From the collection of ‘Viyyukka’) – Translated by P. Anupama
